Drugged
by scarlett onyx
Summary: Arkham Asylum.  The Scarecrow is bored.  The Riddler has major hallucinatory drugs in his system.  Hmmm...wonder how this is gonna pan out...
1. Chapter 1

Jonathan Crane was bored.

Of course, at Arkham Asylum, boredom was typical, but that didn't mean that he had to _like_ it. Flipping distractedly through the pages of his book, the Master of Fear gazed about the rec-room until he spotted someone he knew.

On an uncomfortable looking chair across the room from him, the Riddler sat, looking somewhat dazed. His mouth was moving slowly as if her were talking to himself, but he bobbed his head up and down every so often like someone was answering. Normally, Crane wouldn't have much cared if Nygma was carrying on a conversation with a wall, but he was bored enough now to decide to go check it out.

Abandoning his book, which had been uninteresting anyway- those stupid doctors wouldn't give him anything _decent_ to read, the Scarecrow made his way over to Eddie.

"Hello, Edward." he said when he got to the vacant eyed man.

The Riddler just went on muttering himself, not even blinking to acknowledge the taller man's presence.

"I said, '_Hello_, Edward.'" Jonathan repeated.

This time, Eddie gave a little jerk and looked up at the Master of Fear. "Hiii…" he slurred. Jonathan raised an eyebrow. Nygma was obviously on some drug or other, doubtless prescribed by one of the so-called psychologists. The Scarecrow was about to go back to his incredibly unstimulating book, when he had an idea.

He was bored….Nygma was on drugs…

Hmmmmm….

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all….


	2. Chapter 2

"See that unicorn over there, Eddie?"

The Riddler's eyes swiveled around and peered in the direction Jonathan Crane was pointing. For a minute he stared hard as if trying to see a light in the darkness; then he gasped, green eyes going as wide as dinner plates.

"I DO! I DO SEE THE UNICORN!"

He turned back to the Scarecrow, bouncing up and down excitedly as if awaiting approval.

"_Very_ good, Eddie." Jonathan applauded him, grinning broadly. "Now do you see the funny clown?" he asked, pointing across the room. Eddie turned and nodded emphatically as his gaze locked on the Joker.

"Doesn't he look like he needs a hug?" Jonathan asked, barely concealing a smirk. The Riddler cocked his head to one side as if considering this. Then he leaped up.

"YES! YES HE DOES!" he shouted with glee. Jonathan grinned even wider. "And who better to give it to him than you?"

But the Riddler, convinced that the 'funny clown' needed and hug, and _by gum_ Eddie was gonna give it to him, had already taken off for the other side of the room.

**-three minutes later-**

"He didn't want a hug." Eddie whispered to Jonathan. "He _really_ didn't want one."

Jonathan bit his lip to gain composure and turned to the now slightly bruised Riddler. The Scarecrow didn't know how long the drugs in Eddie's system were going to last, but maybe he there was time for one more thing…

"Hey, Eddie." he said, drawing the Riddler's attention from a stuffed therapy bear in the corner. "Eddie." The Riddler turned. "I think he needs a hug." he said, pointing to the very beat-up looking stuffed-animal. Jonathan shook his head impatiently. "No he doesn't…listen." Eddie shook his head. "No, Jonathan, I really think he does."

"No, he…"

"Yes."

"No.."

"Yes."

"N-"

"Yes."

"EDDIE!"

The Riddler blinked, looking surprised that Jonathan had yelled at him. Regaining composure, the Master of Fear smiled and patted Eddie's head. He grinned and rubbed his head against Jonathan hand like a cat. The Scarecrow rolled his eyes. "Listen, Eddie. Do you see that hamburger over there?"

The Riddler turned and opened his eyes very wide, trying desperately to find the 'hamburger.'

"Right there." Jonathan repeated, moving Eddie's head in the right direction. He looked intensely at nothing until…

"I SEE IT!"

"Good…" Jonathan said smiling. From across the room, Harvey "Two-Face" Dent raised his good eyebrow at the Riddler, who was gawking at him with a look that resembled….hunger?

"Now see that juicy slab of bacon on the side of it?" Jonathan was saying.

Eddie nodded, still staring at Harvey.

"Doesn't it look _good_?"

Eddie nodded again, faster this time, actually licking his lips.

Jonathan leaned forward until he was inches from the Riddler's ear.

"Do you want it?"

Eddie's head bobbed up and down.

"Do you?"

"Yes."

"Do you, really?"

"_Yes!_" Eddie whimpered.

"Then, _go get it_!"

The Riddler was off like a blood-hound on a trail.

Harvey had stopped looking at Eddie, chalking it up to drugs/and or the Riddler's mental state that was causing him to stare like that. He picked up a brush covered in red paint and observed the easel in front of him, trying to decide where to daub the first drop. He wished he had his coin…

His head was pounding. The pounding was getting louder until it sounded almost like running feet. Huh. Weird. Who would be running…

Suddenly Two-Face felt something warm and wet slide up the burned side of his face.

_**SLUUUUUUURP!**_

With a startled yell, Harvey back-handed whoever had dared to lick his face across the room.

The Riddler went flying.

For a moment, the room stood still.

And then the Scarecrow began to howl with laughter.

Harvey was howling too, but for an entirely different reason as he raked a hand down his now wet face.

Jonathan paused his laughter long enough to see if Eddie was alright.

The Riddler looked stunned for a moment, and then looked up from his position on the floor.

A frown furrowed his forehead as he gazed at the Master of Fear. Then he spoke.

"That didn't taste like bacon at all!"


End file.
